29 December 2009

is there anything better than family?

will durant, philosopher and historian, once wrote: "family is the nucleus of civilization."

this quote has traveled with me for most of my adult life, birthed on the wall of my first bedroom away from my parents' home. my ideas of home have changed in the decade since, but this adage has remained with me as a constant reminder of home, and the inextricable link between family and home.
during the last few years especially, my ideas of family have grown to encompass the given and the chosen, and have begun to blend seamlessly into one loving, enriching, challenging, and vital family.

so many of us are orphans in one way or another, often times far away from our given families.
this idea of the given and the chosen family becomes the foundation from which we launch ourselves into the world.
in western society, our concepts of family are too often limited to the nuclear. the extended family becomes ancillary, and loses its inherent value as a core part of each person's foundation.
we lose out on so much when we isolate ourselves from our family of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, children, siblings, mentors, and friends.

this is the second year i've made new years resolutions, and the second year that i will state my desire to further strengthen the bond of my given and chosen family.
i hope keep with me all the lessons i've learned from my family, and i hope to one day be able to give even a fraction of the love i receive.

16 December 2009


i just submitted my first picture and story to pictory, a new online photo magazine, and an offshoot of JPG magazine.
the theme is 'the one who got away'

when i met him, i knew we had been inextricably linked for lifetimes. our magnetism was a force beyond our control. he was my best friend, my lover, and my mirror. when i left, i did so because i let my light go out. and because he was my mirror, i could no longer see his light. each subsequent trial of the heart has been a reminder to me to keep my light shining bright, for if the light goes out, the magic melts away.

06 December 2009


hierva el agua

exposición corpus aeternum

mary in a gas mask

ubiquitous street art

el zocalo

24 November 2009

los amantes

where i discovered my love for mezcal (thank you, ryan).

17 November 2009

i am 31 now.

and this is what i have decided to do this year...

cultivate the enjoyment of moments. (be present)

don't be afraid to fall. (don't be afraid to fail)

breathe deeply. (slow down)

laugh loud. (show the world that i am a damn fine human being)

blush often. (humility)

help. (contribute to the greater good)

thank you friends and family for inspiring me to be a good person.

12 November 2009

ramblings from a moleskin in mexico

'mexico is catharsis.
the humid and tropical climate has resurrected me.
my fragile skeleton has become a solid foundation once more.
my breath and my lifeblood is love
with the death of love i die.
here i have been reborn.
without knowing why... here i am home.' 28.10.09

'through the jungle
through the mountains of oaxaca
a sweaty and dirty second-class bus
from puerto escondido
via acapulco-- dirty dirty smoggy
ugly acapulco whose salvation
came in the form of pozole verde and waitress 'mi amor'
via zihuatanejo-- mexico of my heart.' 30.10.09

'oaxaca of my heart...' 06.11.09

part 2

15 October 2009

my heart needs a band aid.

so i am compiling a list of various treatments for it

-a day walking around town taking pictures and looking at art.

-permission to accept a very generous offer from a friend to go to mexico... and permission to enjoy it.

-a fresh haircut.

-a massage from a very dear friend.

-an inspiring book.

-as much of my friends as i can get before any/all of them kick me out.

-lots of hugs.

-rose quartz.

-a little note hiding in my pocket reminding myself that i deserve/accept all the happiness i can handle.

-lots of baths.

-and dancing.

any other ideas?

26 June 2009

off the map

zane just introduced me to a film he loves called 'off the map'. it is a touching walk through the ups and downs of love and life, and a quiet tribute to dedication. the works of artist stan berning are featured in the film, including this stunning 40'w X 20"h watercolor painting. i've been thinking about it for days.

to see the entire piece, visit the section of his website dedicated to the 'off the map' project. i promise you won't be disappointed...

08 June 2009

it bubbles

so i've never been much of a diligent student... social and creative activities have always taken precedence. one fine example is the immediate space around me.

book reading
tea drinking
blog posting
music listening
picture taking
... and textbooks closed.

oh, the choices we make to fill our lives with our own brands of personal bliss.

15 May 2009

first day of my life

this bright eyes song i heard first at a the wedding of some acquaintances of mine. it's a song that pulls at my heart strings, and reminds me always of the joy of love.

13 May 2009


week two in my new treetop home and all i can do is sit here and feel so grateful for the course and direction that my life has taken.  at this time last year i was just beginning to emerge from heartache and the great transition from a city i called home for 5 years.  today i feel blessed and embraced and alive in a way entirely new to me.  i feel as though i have been reborn for the fifth, seventh, hundredth time in this little life.

07 April 2009


i have been spending a few years now actively cultivating enjoyment of moments without expectations, but today i feel like regressing because i am very excited about some almosts.

number 1: it is almost a full moon.  and no matter how crazy the energy around me gets, full moon energy never ceases to tickle and delight me.

number 2: it is almost time for wednesday night social.  my new and lovely friends emily, sara, and sabrina host this gathering of creative minds.  i feel lucky to be a part of this.

number 3: it is almost the day that my mom was born 58 years ago.

number 4: it is almost thursday and thursday is school day.


as i write, i realize that there are many many more things to write and that makes me happy.

27 January 2009


i have just stumbled again upon one of my favorite passages by anais nin that has been tucked away inside of an old dust-covered journal
"most of my life has been spent in enriching as well as i could the long, long waiting for the great events which fill me now so deeply that i am overwhelmed. now i understand the terrific restlessness, the tragic sense of failure, the deep discontent. i was waiting. this is the year of expansion, of true living. all the rest was a preparation. thirty years of anguished watchfulness. and now these are the days i lived for. and to be aware of this, so fully aware, that is what is almost humanly unbearable. human beings cannot bear the knowledge of the future. to me, the knowledge of the present is just as dazzling. to be so acutely rich and know it!"
it gives me chills as it did so many years ago when i read it for the first time. i read it again now, however, with a sense of empathy for her plight instead of with the longing i felt in my early twenties.

i think i really like being 30.

13 January 2009

03 January 2009

it's a good year so far...

for the last few years, i have consciously rejected the notion of new year's resolutions for similar reasons to those my friends have given when asked why they reject 'hallmark holidays': why one day more than the next, why only one day, why does the capitalist marketplace have control over my expression of thought and feeling?
and while it is true that i made my resolutions before the new year, i will state here that they are new year's resolutions.

1. find play again everyday.
2. write more.
3. start those projects that have been floating around in my brain for too many years.
4. be a better friend.
5. be a better daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin and niece.
6. read more nonfiction.
7. get out of debt.
8. forgive myself for not being perfect.
9. start volunteering for the village free school.
10. travel.
11. keep dancing.
12. find new reasons to love my life everyday.
13. be nice.

... i think that'll be enough to keep me busy for a while.