tomboy style

upon discovery of this blog, i gave a silent little 'whoop!' to myself. i've always naturally embraced tomboy style, but have been told many times of late, that wearing men's clothes does not a feminine woman make. this site is the perfect example of what beautiful, graceful, classy women look like when they wear menswear, or menswear-inspired clothing. there is a certain ease with which these women seem to move that i really admire and appreciate.

Tomboy Style

kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.




Naomi Shihab Nye
from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

a little sunshine for your day

the journey

shortly after returning from santa barbara, my auntie val sent me this poem.  i read it daily and reflect upon the conversations i have participated in lately with dear friends about our own individual journeys.  this poem, shared with me by a dear friend, i will share now with you... my dear friends.

the journey

one day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"mend my life!"

each voice cried.

but you didn't stop.

you knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

it was already late

enough and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones,

but little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

--mary oliver

ps... if you are not familiar with her work, i highly recommend becoming acquainted.

a few photos from henry's beach

my mom, dad and i just got back from taking a road trip to santa barbara.  these photos were taken on a morning walk with my auntie val and uncle jack, at one of my favorite beaches.

my dad and i lagged far behind the others to collect small treasures, and to ruminate on life and love, heartache and moving forward.  it was a morning that reminded me of the magic of life, and of the strength of my desire to make magic daily.

only love can break your heart

this song has been in my head everyday for awhile now...

una

i had the opportunity last week to model for giovanna, the owner of una, one of my favorite clothing boutiques in portland (actually, one of my favorites period).  while normally i can only enter her small haven and drool at the beautiful clothes she selects, last week i got to prance around and pose in them.  what an honor.  and what a delightful woman to work with.  she is charming and gracious and sweet and is most certainly worth visiting at una.  the clothing and accessories she sells are quite obviously selected with care and love.  when you leave you will either cradle a new treasure in your arms or want to come back everyday until you have unearthed every treasure in her trove.

return home

i haven't felt this way in a long time... since my return from italy almost a decade ago, in fact.  the way in which, upon return home, all i want to do is hide out and re-orient myself.  this feeling is not exclusive to me.  it's the feeling that many international aid workers must experience with regularity.  it's the slow adaptation back into the world of people who speak the same language as you, the lack of need to constantly change currency in your head, the taking for granted of basic essentials (like clean water, toilet paper, shelter, transportation, etc.), and not seeing people living in dire conditions EVERYDAY.  it's a strange feeling.  i thought i would be relieved to be back in the land-of-plenty, but i instead finding myself... lacking.  it's almost as if life is too easy.  ironic.
everyday i struggle to find the middle ground between here and there.  i find myself needing to contribute directly, but unsure of how to do so from home.  i feel despondent and helpless.

and then i read about liz at sseko designs who has found a way to do it in a really fun and creative way.
and then i read about chris, the creator of the art of nonconformity , and his unconventional and adventurous take on life.

and i come back to my own unique path.  and my own pressing need to help make this world a better world for future generations.  and of my mom's proclamation that i have always marched to the beat of a different drummer.  and of my dad's proclamation that i am a work of art.  and i remember that, while i am in charge of most things in my life, there is a greater essence guiding me on my path.

and i am thankful for the tangible and intangible forces that help me re-gain perspective.

thank you liz and chris, strangers who have graciously shared their stories for the benefit of the rest of us.
thank you mom and dad for helping me remember that i am special.
thank you dear dear friends for shining your light on me when mine goes dim.
and thank you, unseen essence, for always guiding me back to my path.

a year and a day

please take a few minutes to watch this video brian just made about haiti and the work that ilf is doing here.  it is beautiful.

a Year and a Day from Brian Martin on Vimeo.

EAT.DRINK.THINK.: Butternut Squash Soup with star anise and ginger s...

EAT.DRINK.THINK.: Butternut Squash Soup with star anise and ginger s...: "Have I mentioned my affinity for all things delicious, fast, and easy in these days of being a slave to an A.D.D. afflicted one-year-old? Oh..."

can't wait to try this in haiti. although the shrimp selection leaves a bit (a lot) to be desired, the other ingredients should be quite easy to find in haiti. and since sunday is soup day here, i think i will try this out on sunday. enjoy!

haiti, continued

sometimes haiti is really hard.  days like this one, however, are food for my soul.

haiti

sea of cortez

we spent the first leg of our journey sailing with brian's family on the sea of cortez.  above is a little photo narrative of some of our adventures.  we spent a week laughing, reading, swimming, and playing marathon rounds of poker.  it was the perfect segue to our next adventures, as well as to the coming challenges we will surely face in haiti.

aepdx and juliet zulu

An AEPDX Meeting from Juliet Zulu on Vimeo.



a few months ago i had the opportunity to work with some very talented gentlemen. this was the result.

sometimes, when i don't have much to say...

... i let my pictures talk for me.

these days