i haven't felt this way in a long time... since my return from italy almost a decade ago, in fact. the way in which, upon return home, all i want to do is hide out and re-orient myself. this feeling is not exclusive to me. it's the feeling that many international aid workers must experience with regularity. it's the slow adaptation back into the world of people who speak the same language as you, the lack of need to constantly change currency in your head, the taking for granted of basic essentials (like clean water, toilet paper, shelter, transportation, etc.), and not seeing people living in dire conditions EVERYDAY. it's a strange feeling. i thought i would be relieved to be back in the land-of-plenty, but i instead finding myself... lacking. it's almost as if life is too easy. ironic.
everyday i struggle to find the middle ground between here and there. i find myself needing to contribute directly, but unsure of how to do so from home. i feel despondent and helpless.
and then i read about liz at sseko designs who has found a way to do it in a really fun and creative way.
and then i read about chris, the creator of the art of nonconformity , and his unconventional and adventurous take on life.
and i come back to my own unique path. and my own pressing need to help make this world a better world for future generations. and of my mom's proclamation that i have always marched to the beat of a different drummer. and of my dad's proclamation that i am a work of art. and i remember that, while i am in charge of most things in my life, there is a greater essence guiding me on my path.
and i am thankful for the tangible and intangible forces that help me re-gain perspective.
thank you liz and chris, strangers who have graciously shared their stories for the benefit of the rest of us.
thank you mom and dad for helping me remember that i am special.
thank you dear dear friends for shining your light on me when mine goes dim.
and thank you, unseen essence, for always guiding me back to my path.