off the map

zane just introduced me to a film he loves called 'off the map'. it is a touching walk through the ups and downs of love and life, and a quiet tribute to dedication. the works of artist stan berning are featured in the film, including this stunning 40'w X 20"h watercolor painting. i've been thinking about it for days.




to see the entire piece, visit the section of his website dedicated to the 'off the map' project. i promise you won't be disappointed...

it bubbles

so i've never been much of a diligent student... social and creative activities have always taken precedence. one fine example is the immediate space around me.

book reading
tea drinking
blog posting
music listening
picture taking
... and textbooks closed.


oh, the choices we make to fill our lives with our own brands of personal bliss.

sunshine spring pt. 1

sunshine spring pt. 2

first day of my life

this bright eyes song i heard first at a the wedding of some acquaintances of mine. it's a song that pulls at my heart strings, and reminds me always of the joy of love.

...

week two in my new treetop home and all i can do is sit here and feel so grateful for the course and direction that my life has taken.  at this time last year i was just beginning to emerge from heartache and the great transition from a city i called home for 5 years.  today i feel blessed and embraced and alive in a way entirely new to me.  i feel as though i have been reborn for the fifth, seventh, hundredth time in this little life.

almost.

i have been spending a few years now actively cultivating enjoyment of moments without expectations, but today i feel like regressing because i am very excited about some almosts.

number 1: it is almost a full moon.  and no matter how crazy the energy around me gets, full moon energy never ceases to tickle and delight me.

number 2: it is almost time for wednesday night social.  my new and lovely friends emily, sara, and sabrina host this gathering of creative minds.  i feel lucky to be a part of this.

number 3: it is almost the day that my mom was born 58 years ago.

number 4: it is almost thursday and thursday is school day.

.................................................................................................................

as i write, i realize that there are many many more things to write and that makes me happy.

inspiration

i have just stumbled again upon one of my favorite passages by anais nin that has been tucked away inside of an old dust-covered journal

"most of my life has been spent in enriching as well as i could the long, long waiting for the great events which fill me now so deeply that i am overwhelmed. now i understand the terrific restlessness, the tragic sense of failure, the deep discontent. i was waiting. this is the year of expansion, of true living. all the rest was a preparation. thirty years of anguished watchfulness. and now these are the days i lived for. and to be aware of this, so fully aware, that is what is almost humanly unbearable. human beings cannot bear the knowledge of the future. to me, the knowledge of the present is just as dazzling. to be so acutely rich and know it!"

it gives me chills as it did so many years ago when i read it for the first time. i read it again now, however, with a sense of empathy for her plight instead of with the longing i felt in my early twenties.

i think i really like being 30.

thank you sunshine

backyard inspiration


phenomenal light

it's a good year so far...

for the last few years, i have consciously rejected the notion of new year's resolutions for similar reasons to those my friends have given when asked why they reject 'hallmark holidays': why one day more than the next, why only one day, why does the capitalist marketplace have control over my expression of thought and feeling?
and while it is true that i made my resolutions before the new year, i will state here that they are new year's resolutions.

1. find play again everyday.
2. write more.
3. start those projects that have been floating around in my brain for too many years.
4. be a better friend.
5. be a better daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin and niece.
6. read more nonfiction.
7. get out of debt.
8. forgive myself for not being perfect.
9. start volunteering for the village free school.
10. travel.
11. keep dancing.
12. find new reasons to love my life everyday.
13. be nice.

... i think that'll be enough to keep me busy for a while.

birthday magic

i turned 30 last week. this monumental birthday has been the most anticipated and most longed-for birthday of my adult life. i feel as though i now have official permission to start growing younger. below is a little chronicle of my oregon coast birthday adventure...

natya leela

as i am having the tiniest bit of trouble uploading this video, below is a link to a performance we had recently for the fall cultural series at the salem public library.

the piece is called thodaya mangalam

enjoy!

family

... home... the womb-like environment where the same existential questions invariably produce different answers to the ones posed in a different environment. for all of the bittersweet idiosyncrasies, life is more full and more whole because of family. little do i realize until i've been away for a year, two years (a small lifetime), how vital the lifeblood of family is. and even more surprising is, after each little lifetime away, the love remains the same.

behind their chocolate eyes, nestled somewhere beneath their indian cheekbones and olive skin, rests the heart of a family whose blood is gold, and whose bones are made of the steel and iron of mothers, and protectors.

more good things...

adventures

creative friends who let me hang out with them while they work

beautiful bounty

 togetherin'

footprints

some of the good things that have been happening lately

sunshine music

seaside

solstice

homages

togetherin'

                                                                            backyards

tea

back in the saddle

after an extended hiatus, i have again begun to move my body on the dance floor.  as in years past when i have taken a break from mirrors and raised floors and stages and costumes, i have reflected upon what it means to be a dancer.  just as the question often arises in my mind as i walk through my days, 'what does it mean to be an artist?', i find myself thinking of the process rather than the product of my passions.  

i have stumbled, quite fortuitously onto bharanathayam, one of the seven forms of classical indian dance, and into a community of dancers of varying backgrounds who approach the dance with the true love of those who feel the rhythm of dance coursing through their veins.  as we took the stage last saturday, i gave pause to wonder how i could have stayed away so long... and then i looked at these ladies smiling and embodying this classical southern indian dance form, and the answer became clear: dancing is in the blood (as artistry is), and does not need tangible evidence to be real.

... the first photo is of our entire troupe, with our teacher suba standing in traditional costume in front.  the second is a more playful (and maybe more accurate) representation of us posing in our favorite animal poses.

oh me, oh my!

these last few weeks have been a flurry of activity, small joys, challenges, and a beautiful settling of myself into the first place i have called home in well over five years...

here is a short list of some of the events of the last little while:

together gallery

natya leela

sapphire hotel

zenger farm

le pigeon

my horoscope for the week

You're not any more narcissistic and egotistical than the rest of us, but this week happens to be your special time to make amends for being that way. Therefore, I recommend that you try the following corrective measures: 1. Every day, do three things motivated by compassion that are helpful to people you know. 2. For a few minutes each day, use your imagination to get inside the mind of someone you care about and see the world through his or her eyes. 3. Every day, take at least one action that will in some way beautify your environment, contribute to the well-being of strangers, or help save the world.

... the past few months here have been a re-awakening for me of my connection with the universe as a whole.  in this opening, i have begun to feel (along with many many others) a great shift happening.  whether one believes in the validity of astrology or not, there is an undeniable physiological shift that occurs when planets move and shift (think of what happens during tidal shifts at full moon time... whoa!), and if we begin to listen to the voice (rotations, axis', sun exposure, relative place in the universe, etc.) of the universe, we can better understand what an incredible opportunity we all have to help heal our own sick planet.  this horoscope is for me a reminder of the path i would like to walk upon on my journey toward health and ultimate fulfillment.

step 1: participate in a positive community... the boys at together gallery have embraced me and asked me to become a part their community.  i am now their newest official volunteer!

step 2: make a positive difference in the life of a child... i've been lucky enough to be accepting into the volunteer summer reading program at my local library.  this summer i get to hang out with tiny people and share my love of reading.

step 3: infect others with positivity... i have made it my mission in each of the cities i have lived in to smile at strangers.  this is the first city where people regularly smile back.

step 4: accept help from others...

and we're off!

i received my very first idea via postcard from denmark!  

[thank you carmen for your wonderfully inspiring idea.]

i can't wait to get started on this new project

... and i double can't wait to receive more!

tomorrow promises to be a day of sunshine, and:

cinco de mayo festivities

afternoon barbeque with ribs by chef sandro

beer

badminton

friends (big and little)

movies projected onto barns

AND 

bowling.

i'm coming to really enjoy what happens when the sun comes out in portland.

love illuminated

... this is a photo of my mama and i a few summers ago.  her beauty and radiance is a constant inspiration to me.