los amantes

where i discovered my love for mezcal (thank you, ryan).

i am 31 now.

and this is what i have decided to do this year...

cultivate the enjoyment of moments. (be present)

don't be afraid to fall. (don't be afraid to fail)

breathe deeply. (slow down)

laugh loud. (show the world that i am a damn fine human being)

blush often. (humility)

help. (contribute to the greater good)

thank you friends and family for inspiring me to be a good person.

ramblings from a moleskin in mexico

'mexico is catharsis.
the humid and tropical climate has resurrected me.
my fragile skeleton has become a solid foundation once more.
my breath and my lifeblood is love
with the death of love i die.
here i have been reborn.
without knowing why... here i am home.' 28.10.09



'through the jungle
through the mountains of oaxaca
a sweaty and dirty second-class bus
from puerto escondido
via acapulco-- dirty dirty smoggy
ugly acapulco whose salvation
came in the form of pozole verde and waitress 'mi amor'
via zihuatanejo-- mexico of my heart.' 30.10.09



'oaxaca of my heart...' 06.11.09

part 2

my heart needs a band aid.

so i am compiling a list of various treatments for it

-a day walking around town taking pictures and looking at art.

-permission to accept a very generous offer from a friend to go to mexico... and permission to enjoy it.

-a fresh haircut.

-a massage from a very dear friend.

-an inspiring book.

-as much of my friends as i can get before any/all of them kick me out.

-lots of hugs.

-rose quartz.

-a little note hiding in my pocket reminding myself that i deserve/accept all the happiness i can handle.

-lots of baths.

-and dancing.

any other ideas?

off the map

zane just introduced me to a film he loves called 'off the map'. it is a touching walk through the ups and downs of love and life, and a quiet tribute to dedication. the works of artist stan berning are featured in the film, including this stunning 40'w X 20"h watercolor painting. i've been thinking about it for days.




to see the entire piece, visit the section of his website dedicated to the 'off the map' project. i promise you won't be disappointed...

it bubbles

so i've never been much of a diligent student... social and creative activities have always taken precedence. one fine example is the immediate space around me.

book reading
tea drinking
blog posting
music listening
picture taking
... and textbooks closed.


oh, the choices we make to fill our lives with our own brands of personal bliss.

sunshine spring pt. 1

sunshine spring pt. 2

first day of my life

this bright eyes song i heard first at a the wedding of some acquaintances of mine. it's a song that pulls at my heart strings, and reminds me always of the joy of love.

...

week two in my new treetop home and all i can do is sit here and feel so grateful for the course and direction that my life has taken.  at this time last year i was just beginning to emerge from heartache and the great transition from a city i called home for 5 years.  today i feel blessed and embraced and alive in a way entirely new to me.  i feel as though i have been reborn for the fifth, seventh, hundredth time in this little life.

almost.

i have been spending a few years now actively cultivating enjoyment of moments without expectations, but today i feel like regressing because i am very excited about some almosts.

number 1: it is almost a full moon.  and no matter how crazy the energy around me gets, full moon energy never ceases to tickle and delight me.

number 2: it is almost time for wednesday night social.  my new and lovely friends emily, sara, and sabrina host this gathering of creative minds.  i feel lucky to be a part of this.

number 3: it is almost the day that my mom was born 58 years ago.

number 4: it is almost thursday and thursday is school day.

.................................................................................................................

as i write, i realize that there are many many more things to write and that makes me happy.

inspiration

i have just stumbled again upon one of my favorite passages by anais nin that has been tucked away inside of an old dust-covered journal

"most of my life has been spent in enriching as well as i could the long, long waiting for the great events which fill me now so deeply that i am overwhelmed. now i understand the terrific restlessness, the tragic sense of failure, the deep discontent. i was waiting. this is the year of expansion, of true living. all the rest was a preparation. thirty years of anguished watchfulness. and now these are the days i lived for. and to be aware of this, so fully aware, that is what is almost humanly unbearable. human beings cannot bear the knowledge of the future. to me, the knowledge of the present is just as dazzling. to be so acutely rich and know it!"

it gives me chills as it did so many years ago when i read it for the first time. i read it again now, however, with a sense of empathy for her plight instead of with the longing i felt in my early twenties.

i think i really like being 30.

thank you sunshine

backyard inspiration


phenomenal light

it's a good year so far...

for the last few years, i have consciously rejected the notion of new year's resolutions for similar reasons to those my friends have given when asked why they reject 'hallmark holidays': why one day more than the next, why only one day, why does the capitalist marketplace have control over my expression of thought and feeling?
and while it is true that i made my resolutions before the new year, i will state here that they are new year's resolutions.

1. find play again everyday.
2. write more.
3. start those projects that have been floating around in my brain for too many years.
4. be a better friend.
5. be a better daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin and niece.
6. read more nonfiction.
7. get out of debt.
8. forgive myself for not being perfect.
9. start volunteering for the village free school.
10. travel.
11. keep dancing.
12. find new reasons to love my life everyday.
13. be nice.

... i think that'll be enough to keep me busy for a while.

birthday magic

i turned 30 last week. this monumental birthday has been the most anticipated and most longed-for birthday of my adult life. i feel as though i now have official permission to start growing younger. below is a little chronicle of my oregon coast birthday adventure...

natya leela

as i am having the tiniest bit of trouble uploading this video, below is a link to a performance we had recently for the fall cultural series at the salem public library.

the piece is called thodaya mangalam

enjoy!

family

... home... the womb-like environment where the same existential questions invariably produce different answers to the ones posed in a different environment. for all of the bittersweet idiosyncrasies, life is more full and more whole because of family. little do i realize until i've been away for a year, two years (a small lifetime), how vital the lifeblood of family is. and even more surprising is, after each little lifetime away, the love remains the same.

behind their chocolate eyes, nestled somewhere beneath their indian cheekbones and olive skin, rests the heart of a family whose blood is gold, and whose bones are made of the steel and iron of mothers, and protectors.

more good things...

adventures

creative friends who let me hang out with them while they work

beautiful bounty

 togetherin'

footprints

some of the good things that have been happening lately

sunshine music

seaside

solstice

homages

togetherin'

                                                                            backyards

tea